You can’t imagine it, Jessie J states. There she was readying for her comeback record in eight years, ecstatically in love with her current love, and finally the mother of a toddler after struggling to conceive for ten years, feeling invincible. Suddenly in spring she was found to have a breast cancer diagnosis.
The artist, actual name Jessica Cornish, is renowned for being brutally honest. The record, her latest release, was meant as an open book, dealing with every moment of pain she’d faced since she last worked on songs (a gynecological condition, losing a baby, broken romances, gaslighting, suicidal thoughts) with her usual frankness. The first single, No Secrets, was released in the spring. But by then there was a mighty secret. The illness. Later second single, Living My Best Life, debuted in late spring and she was speaking publicly about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while all the while coping with the disease. A month later she shared the news, and in early July she received surgical treatment.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” expression. “I release with a song called No Secrets. I’m doing every media appearance, and they ask, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I’m, like, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” Cornish has just had to call off performances because she’s still waiting for reconstructive surgery.
We meet at a studio in London. She is dressed in a tan faux-leather coat, denim trousers with elaborate white patches, cream boots and big frames. Think motorcycle style meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the seventies and I should have a man with facial hair.” Easy Rider, I say, thinking of the movie. “They used to call me that!” She beams. She is sharp-witted, bold and direct. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is aiming for her first comedy performance in the coming year. “I love making people laugh. On stage I frequently joke about the audience.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
She was preparing for an performance at the Baftas when she found a lump. “I immediately went to get it examined, had an scan, and they told me, ‘It appears fine; your breasts are normal.’ And I insisted, ‘Yet I sense it. I’ve got an achy arm and tingling in my hands whenever I rise.’ And they replied, ‘How about a biopsy?’ That was 28 March, the following my birthday.” It was a Friday. The doctor told her if it was concerning she’d reach out on the start of the week. By then Cornish had assured herself it was fine. The way she describes it, it was inopportune to get cancer when she had so much on.
“We’re two weeks away from releasing the album after a long hiatus and four years without a single. And she contacted me and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I thought, ‘A video call, likely minor.’ So I jump on the Zoom believing it’s all going to be good, and she informs me, ‘You might want to sit.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she says, ‘Unfortunately but your reports have come back as malignant cells.’” What was your reaction? “I answered, ‘That’s unfortunate. The timing is terrible.’ My initial thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness
She viewed the procedure frightening and surreal. “I hate being put under. They lead you. You know when you have emergency surgery you go on a gurney, but now I just marched with a gown on and my backside out. Like a dystopian scene.” But, Cornish says, she’s been blessed. No chemotherapy or radiation, just the op. “It’s terrible, but yet Luckily it was detected early. The surgery happened four months ago and my right breast now resembles a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” A further beam. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The subsequent surgery is both medical and cosmetic. Her chest, she remarks, are now “uneven. The size doesn’t match. How rude! I reflected, no need to bully me, I’m already having a hard period. So rude! Ironically I said I’d not undergo augmentation because I’ve got OCD, and I know they’d never be ideal. Cancer ruined that plan.”
Previous Struggles
She is familiar with health problems. She thinks her outlook on her diagnosis has been so upbeat because she’s used to health crises. Many times they occur alongside professional successes, acting as a reminder, or punch in the stomach, to highlight not to assume everything is fine. “Truly, I feel fate says, ‘Things going well? Take a seat.’ Since childhood, it has consistently accompanied moments of success for me; something severe or obscure has impacted my body.”
She takes me back to her youth, already starting her career featuring in the stage in a musical (she was cast at the age of nine). That’s when she was diagnosed with the medical problem Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as dizziness and heart flutters. “I rehearsed between visits on an IV drip, and going back into hospital at night.” She skips forward six years, and young Jessica has entered the trio Soul Deep while studying at the performing arts school. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was planning to release songs in 2020 I had a car crash and my voice box shifted and I lost my voice for a twelve months.”
Hey, I say, slow down, I need a moment. At just 17? She nods|agrees
